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hanukkahlewinsky:

mom: but honey, you’re special to *me*

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64,060 notes - 16 September, 2014

notmargaery:

*university voice* unfortunately… we have too much money… so we have to raise tuition so we can build a place to keep all the other money in… so sorry unavoidable

101,378 notes - 16 September, 2014

rlymax:

hey pull my finger

*finger detaches*

see you in court asshole

544,771 notes - 14 September, 2014

pulpdrinker:

sex tip!! when he puts it in, yell ‘what are u doing in my swamp’

191,899 notes - 14 September, 2014

ballpm:

i solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet

528,368 notes - 14 September, 2014

fukkkres:

when ur eating dinner at your friends house

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and their parents start arguing

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and you want to ask for the salt

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but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce

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456,157 notes - 14 September, 2014